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Wednesday, October 8, 2008

the attack of the killer bee and spider!!!

Where do I begin? Currently, I am so tired that I can barely think or type more the less. But, the story is worth telling, well in my eyes it is.

Yesterday morning I was downstairs in Brandon and I's townhouse. I had just finished getting ready (I blow dry my hair in the downstairs bath so it won't wake up my sleeping beauty - aka Brandon). I took the dogs out of their crates and I was I walking by the kitchen table and I heard a loud buzzing noise. When I first heard the noise I thought it was a mesquito because those little suckers have been bad lately. I got a better look at it as I walked into the kitchen and realized it was a BEEEEEEEEEEEE! My first thoughts were...
1. I'm late to work, I can't kill this thing
2. I'm reallllly late to work
3. This bee will die by the end of the day so I'm not gonna worry about it
4. Oh no! I have to kill this sucker, he might sting the dogs while they are in their crates!
5. Brandon.... whata about Brandon. It might sting him while he is sleeping( silently laughing in my head, picturing my husband getting stung by a bee while sleeping)

So as I frantically grabbed the swiffer ( don't ask me why I chose the swiffer to kill the bee) I swatted the swiffer at the bee which was on our light fixture in the kitchen. BAAAAAAMMM! That little sucker is D.E.A.D! After killing the bee, I thought - HOW THE HECK DID THAT BEE get in my house! I can understand a small bug of sorts but a BEE?

Needless to say I was a pretty proud wife as I saved my family from being stung by a bee. I deserve an award. Brandon wasn't impressed when I told him the story when I got home from work.

I walked into the kitchen when I got home and he looked up at the light fixture and said WHAT HAPPENED HERE???? I looked up and said- Oh my... I did that. I killed a bee this morning that was on the fixture. I saved our family, aren't you proud? Of course he wasn't impressed, more mad about the darn light fixture. Of course he was.

One more story.

I was on my way home from work yesterday , driving on the Westpark Tollway ( only the best highway EVER to get me home). Everyday there has been traffic since it's a 2 lane tollway. So I thought I would call my friend Danni. We hadn't talked in a few days and it was a perfect time to catch up. Danni and I are talking on the phone - laughing, tell stories, yadda yadda yadda. In the corner of my eye I notice something fall from the ceiling of my car towards the radio area. My first instinct was .. " oh it's just a leaf" ( really Kellianne? a leaf? falling from your ceiling?). It was a dark color so really, I assumed it was a leaf. Just like the bee, I got a good look at it and it was a .... SPIIIIIIIIIIIIDER! I'm not talking about a tee-tiny spider....I'm talking about a GIANT spider, bigger than the size of a quarter!!! It was black and furry and I was scared to death! The second I realized it was a GIANORMOUS spider I told Danni ( OMG I GOTTA GO BYE!) Poor Danni thought I had gotten in a car wreck.

I hung up the phone and found whatever was close to me to kill the spider. Too bad the spider was lightening speed fast and he vanished before my eyes. Now, at the point I was totally freaking in because I didn't know where he went. Is he going to bite me? Is he crawling in my hair, my leg or on my clothes? ( Mind you, traffic is really horrible. So picture me trying to look for a spider in bumper to bumper traffic. Yes, car accident waiting to happen). My fear was I was going to get bit by this spider and DIE! I know, I'm totally dramatic but seriously was huge! Plus I had a lot of friends at ACU get bit by those brown furry spiders that are poisonious and I was afraid that it was gonna happen to me.

I called Danni back to keep my mind off that darn spider. She thought I got in a wreck and I told her I didn't. I told Danni that a spider was in my car and she laughed. Yes, it was funny, stupid, scary and ridiculous all at the same time. I looked down at my feet in the car and SAW HIM! I grabbed my high heel shoe and started to stab the crap out of him..... well he vanished AGAIN!

I gave up.

I thought... fine....BITE ME SPIDER! I'm done with you!

I haven't found him and today is a new day. I hope he is D.E.A.D.

2 bug in one day. 2 bugs that can harm someone and that someone was ME! Oh what a day I had.


The Doty's Dish said...

warrior kelliane!!!! ur so funny.