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Wednesday, April 13, 2011

who am i? where am i? what am i doing?

Bristol is literally sucking all the brain cells out of my brain. I swear, I feel more dumb by the day. Everyday I have to ask myself, who am i? where am i? and what am i doing? Ever since getting pregnant, I just can't keep up with things like I used to and that is very frustrating to me. I had the BEST memory ever and now I can barely remember to pay the bills - even that gets over looked sometimes. Yes, I forgot to pay our electric bill one time and came home to no power. It was a disaster and the hubs wasn't too happy. I think he will be taking over the finances soon, haha.

At work, I feel like I just go through the motions now, which a lot of my day is routine, since that is what my kids need and thrive off of. But at the same time, I feel so lost sometimes. Like in a daze. Is this normal? I sure hope so. Lately, I've also been very emotional. Just within the last couple weeks my emotions have really kicked in and I've cried several times. I'm a sensitive and emotional person - hey I cry when I watch MTV, but when it comes to just bawling out tears, that is not normal. Brandon thought I was nuts when I had my first break down. I thought I was nuts too, but hey, don't tell him that. I have a lot on my plate right now. I'm working full time, going to school full time, pregnant full time, wife and daughter full time... the list goes on. I understand that everyone has roles they play in their lives so I'm not saying I'm any different, I've just been overwhelmed with all the tasks that I am taking on right now.

Speaking of being overwhelmed, I am so overwhelmed and defeated with school right now. I wish I graduated in 4 years. I'm so tired of college. I feel like I've really let myself down lately and I need a good pick me up when it comes to school. Say a little prayer for me, would you? :) I need the peace of understanding and patience to overtake my mind so that I can steadily finish school soon.

Ok thats enough "venting".....

In other exciting news...

The nursery furniture came in today! WAHOO! I'm only 21 weeks pregnant and ordered the furniture a long time ago because we got such a GREAT deal on it. We actually saved over $600.00 on all of the pieces since we got it on sale. This type of nursery furniture NEVER goes on sale so we had to take advantage of the sale, especially since this was the exact stuff I wanted. So this weekend we will pick up the furniture and we will also be going to the paint store to pick out paint for her room. I received my swatches in the mail of the bedding so I have an idea of what color we will be picking.

This weekend will be very exciting! I'm looking forward to decorating the room and getting all things for Bristol! :)

1 comments:

Dana said...

Oh, honey. Baby brain is normal. Frustrating, but normal. Hang in there! It'll get better eventually. Don't be too hard on yourself. You're a favorite in our family. :)-